Poolside in Hollywoood with Piers Morgan-Hard:

Arsene Wenger has always been a good friend and I have helped him out a lot in the past with advice on the team, buying wine and where to go in Paris for the prettiest young would-be rappers. He’s a cool dude and he knows I’m right. I warned him to watch out at ManU and if they did go to play there, avoid Colleen Rooney ― she might be fat, but she can kick! Ye-owch!

I told Alanis Sugar the same thing and of course he agreed with me completely. Him, me and Jenny Clarkson ― whadda bromance! Yum!

But enough about them ― more about me! That’s what you’re here for! I told Anne Hathaway ― she’s not really Shakespeare’s wife! ― that she should try acting in a rom-com and she knew I was right and had a go with Jim Sturgess in this One Day rompity romp.

I told Google how to know nothing about phone hacking

I told her! And now here she is in the new Batman flick dressed up like Miumiu Gaddafi chasing Carla Bruni right the way up the Boulevarde de Sarkozy! Talk about Hollywoood ― you wouldn’t read about it!

Did I say Gaddafi? Much as I love the guy, I had to tell him: Babe, you’re not Mr Shakespeare and you’re not going to play Batman: the Dark Dictator. He knew I was right.

But enough about him! ― get more of me every morning at 3.30 on Fox News and Sky Orbital. Opinions are free! And mine are worthless!

Or follow me on Twitter ― I have over 1 follower! @p_morgan_hard

Yes. it's really me! In Hollywoood! How coool am I? Like, really soo totally koool!!

I told Michelle Obama to switch the Federal debt on an interest free transfer to MasterCard. He knew I was right.

Sarkozy agreed Gaddafi looked like Tim Burton - but is he right for Batman: the Dark Dictator?

Anne Hathaway screen testing for Batman - love the hat! Silvio took her home to a bunga-bunga party! I told him to do it! She loved it!

Me and Jenny Clarkson fingering each other - that's bromance!